2010年3月28日星期日

Joe Wong在LATE NIGHT SHOW的表演~(图+视频+台词)

Joe Wang, a popular stand-up comedian in the New England area, 来自中国大陆的米国移民
( 据说是中科院研究生,到米国後改行说起了相声 ) ,上了 DAVID LETTERMAN's Late Night Show,
先听为快,尤其是那口音,亲切啊~哈!


Joe Wong is not a genius. He was a miracle, but that ended soon after birth. However, Joe Wong has come a long way from a slimy fertilized egg in China to a unique comedian with a dry sense of humor in America . Joe Wong is one of the best known comedians in the New England area and is a favorite at comedy clubs, corporate functions, fundraisers and colleges.
http://www.JoeWongComedy.com

下 面是两段他的表演:



Joe Wang says (with some grammar errors of his style):
hi, everybody...so aah, i am irish...i read a report saying that a man reach their sexual peak at the age of 18...but i didn't know this, until i was 25...so the world will never knew what a stud i was...nobody took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe...
i am not good at sports, but i love parallel parking...because unlike sports...whenever parallel parking, the worse you are...the more people they have rudeing for you...i am an immigrant...and i used to drive this used car with a lot of bumper stickers that impossible to peel it off...and one of them said ...if you don't speak english...go home...and i didn't notice this for two years...i tried really hard to become an US citizen, and i had to take this america history lessons...
where they ask us questions like... who's benjamin franklin...well, I like aah...the reason our convenience store gets robbed...what's the second amendment...well, I like aah...the reason our convenience store gets robbed...what's the row (Roe) vs wade...like aah...two ways of coming to the united states...i have a family now, but i used to be really scared of marriage... i was like...wow...50% of all marriages end up lasting for ever...
i just had my first child last year... and aah...i was really amazed by it...you know...i was at the delivery room...holding on my son...thinking to myself...wow...he was just born...and he is already US citizen...so i said to him...ah...do you even know who's benjamin franklin...now i have a sign on my car...it says...ah...baby on board...this sign is basically a threat...it just says i have a screaming baby and a nagging wife...and i am not afraid of dying anymore...




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以下是抄来的一段说法∶

”In 1973,  the US Supreme Court had prohibited states from making laws that interfered with a
woman's right to an abortion during the early months of pregnancy.

Joe
roe v. wade 转换成 row  (rowing the boat) &  wade (swimming ) to USA. (划船和游泳偷渡到美国)
第一 个 Benjamin Franklin  的幽默在於美国的百元大钞上就是印著他的头像,  所以商店强劫都是因他而
起。
第二个 Second Amendment to the US constitution is to protect the right  to keep and bear arms.  所 以
又和抢劫相关。”